my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize