Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
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He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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