Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
