the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
