He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
