Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
