Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
