I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
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