I can tuck mytits in my pants
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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