i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize