you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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