Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Blood and glitter go together right?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I supernannyed him into submission
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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