can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
