Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
