You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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