I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
