Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Sex in the backyard? Check.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
