end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Randomize
