I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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