Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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