After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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