You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
