RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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