yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
