1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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