Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
