Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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