I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
