Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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