That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
