sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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