so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
