yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
