Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
