another moral hangover. fuck.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize