I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
