I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
