I want to walk on stilts...naked
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
