That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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