We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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