He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
