and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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