She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
