I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Yo dont text me then not text me
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
