Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
