I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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