Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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