i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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