i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
