I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
