fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
false alarm. still invincible.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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