So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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