Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
