I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
