checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize