READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
everyone is single if you try hard enough
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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