As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
