Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
