Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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