the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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